The Skull Beneath the Skin

When you know that you’re meant to be doing something else, something greater, the confines of a 9-5 job can be down right torturous. Because I’m an adult (kinda) I can usually reel myself back from the edge but it’s getting harder and harder to suppress my distaste for making other people dirty, stinking rich.But it has a positive side, too. 

I took a look at the hard data yesterday (sales sheets, monthly sales goals, etc) and found that, on average, I’m responsible for right around $40,000 a month in sales at my current job.

$40,000 a month.Think about that.

I’m a blue collar worker, making under $20,000 A YEAR and I’m responsible for almost double that in a single month. If I can be that successful selling shit for other people who aren’t me, how have I not already capitalized on that ability to make myself rich?

Self actualization. It’s a mother fucker.

But it’s also empowering. It’s driven me to work harder towards my goal of owning my own shop (Royal Black Cyclery), made me start work on the patterns for the frame bags I’m designing and making(Coming Very Soon) and has me ready to conquer the fucking world. Or at the very least, it has me feeling that way. And I like it. 

I’ve got a camping trip planned for August. I’m going to finally spend my vacation with someone who I not only love with every ounce of what make me me, but also someone whom I respect tremendously. I’m a happy dude.

My life’s firing on all cylinders right now.

A Shift

The reason my writing is so infrequent is that I have an issue with not having a precise list of shit I want to discuss, make fun of or converse about. I always think I have to know and just not flow like i should.

But that’s not writing. That’s preaching. And lord knows ain’t nothing holy about me and I sure as hell have no right to demand everyone’s attention. But, I do have a right to chronicle my life and times and that’s where I plan on taking the focus of this particular creative outlet.

I mean, why not? My life’s got as many trials and tribulations as everyone else’s plus a few more that maybe some of you aren’t privy to. Plus I’ve got some pretty awesome cats and some day I’d like to be able to look back and remember (fondly or otherwise) the shit I shouldn’t be able to.

Does that mean I’m going to sit here and discuss my masturbatory habits in detail? Let you know about that mad deuce I dropped? 

No. Fuck No. 

But this will be me at my most honest. My struggles, my thoughts and my hopes. This will be me at my finest. 

This will be the only acknowledgement in regards to the shift of my writing. I plan on just treating the pen (keyboard) like most rappers treat the mic. Raw and real, ready to rock. 


Crippling Christmas Retardation

What is about the holidays that makes people so stupid?

"Hi, I’m looking for blank in green. It shows its sold out on your website. I’d like to order 2."

"Unfortunately ma’am, that item is, as you said, Sold Out. I’m very sorry."

"Oh, so will you give me 20% off since its out of stock?"

"No. Sorry, that’s not our store policy."

"Guess I’ll take my $50 somewhere else! THANKS FOR NOTHING"


This is a transcript from an actual person that I dealt with. This is a line for line transcription. 

People listen to me; The person you’re speaking to on the phone doesn’t have the ability to give you discounts. They’re an hourly employee. Do you honestly think the owner/manager of a business sits on the fucking phone all day answering very, very silly questions?

Think before you speak. Be a human being, not a fucking troll.

Look, let’s face it, very few people are where they thought would be in 5 years. That’s not to say that we’re necessarily dissatisfied with what our reality has become but it’s rare that your ideal vision and your reality meet up, fuck and produce a Dream-Baby™. 

So why do we still buy into the bullshit? How is it that we as a collective populace haven’t somehow become enlightened enough to realize that we don’t need most of the shit that’s pushed on us? Our supposed ‘stepping stones” to happiness that have been thrown in our faces since we were children (car, college, job, wife, death) and all the ridiculous monetary suicide we commit (credit cards, loans, debt) needs to end. I realize its easier said than done but we’re well over due for a change.

Get back to basics, people. Make a change.